Are Some People Meant To Be Single?
Some people say you never get over a breakup; you just learn how to deal with it. I don’t believe that’s entirely true, but even if you do, the result is the same. You have to learn how to embrace your newly single status. It’s the only way to truly be okay again, you cannot spend all of your time missing the relationship life. Being single has so many advantages, notice and embrace them!
First of all, take your time. While embracing being single is completely fundamental, it’s okay to cry. You have to feel all the emotions that you need to feel. It’s important to let all of those emotions out. If you don’t allow yourself to feel them, they will remain pent up inside of you, and you’ll never be able to truly embrace the single life. However, you need to know your limits though. You cannot wallow in self-pity either, you need to know the fine line between feeling what needs to be felt and throwing yourself a grade-A pity party.
Once you’re done with getting those feelings out, it’s time for you to start trying to love being single again. Think about all of the things that you did before you were in a relationship. What brought you joy? Do that. Nothing is stopping you anymore. You are no longer obligated to come to a compromise on how you spend your time. If you want to spend every night playing video games with the boys, you can finally do that. If you want to go to clubs and let loose every weekend, it is now encouraged. If you’re a different person now, and the things you did before your relationship aren’t really fun to you anymore, think about what you did for yourself during your relationship. When you took a day to yourself what did you do? How did you have a good day when she or he weren’t there? Try to focus on those, do them more often.
Lean on your friends. Your friends are there for you; if you’ve lost yourself in the relationship you were in, no one is more qualified to help you find yourself than your best friends. They know you; they love you, and they can show you how to embrace being single for the moment, because the truth is, you aren’t meant to be single. Even if you’re not comfortable having a heart to heart every night with the boys, the comfort of their companionship will eventually bring you back to yourself.
Don’t be afraid to go out on your own. You’re a single man or woman now. In your relationship, you were probably careful to not make any mistakes when you went out without your partner. Now you don’t have to worry about anything at all, you can completely let loose because you no longer owe anyone anything. Remind yourself of the thrills that you missed out on because you were in a relationship and not a free agent. Go out to just let loose, dance, and meet people. Take your friends and just have a wholesome night of fun. That’s what is important: fun. Remind yourself what it is like to have carefree adventure with your friends. When you’re in a relationship, it’s hard to make time for those crazy fun nights with the guys or gals. Even if you do go out, it’s hard to spend all day with your friends without having to be on your phone to check in on your significant other, or wonder what they’re doing.
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Another route you can take is self-care. Work on bettering yourself because while you aren’t meant to be single, you must remember, you attract on the outside, what you are on the inside. Whether that be through therapy or gym sessions, work on becoming the you that you have always wanted to be! If you’re focusing on yourself and being the best version of yourself, you only have time to feel good, or even be proud of yourself. A mate will be the last thing that is on your mind after you see the work you’ve accomplished on your own.
Loving yourself is extremely important in any circumstance, but when you are trying to embrace singledom, it is crucial. You have to love yourself if you ever want to be in a healthy relationship again. Take full advantage of all of the me-time you can. Treat yourself. Buy that jacket you’ve been wanting. Go out to dinner and eat a meal by yourself, and know what it is to enjoy your own company. Love yourself. Don’t let a failed relationship question how you feel about yourself or whether or not love is in the cards.
Written by Jeanine Dorrough