What Does It Mean To Be Perpetually Single?
People often say that the right one will come along when you least expect it. Well, for a perpetually single individual, they certainly aren’t expecting to find their person anytime soon. It isn’t that they don’t wish to love and be loved. Ultimately, they just want the right kind of love on their terms. A perpetually single person is often a hopeless romantic wedged between what some may deem as too high of standards and being too independent for a relationship.
So, what exactly does it mean to be perpetually single? It means what it sounds like—you’re almost never in a relationship. This doesn’t mean that you won’t ever be in one. Instead, it means that you are incredibly selective of who you give your time and energy to. There are both beautiful parts of being a perpetually-single person and not so beautiful parts. While there are lovely parts to this lifestyle, there are also some unattractive aspects.
Here are some pros and cons that will help to identify what it means to be perpetually-single:
PROS OF BEING PERPETUALLY SINGLE: You are a realist—demanding a true connection is instinctual. You won’t settle for a mediocre love. This is a quality often mistaken as a repellent to some of the more fickle and timid people that take to you. They may become intimidated by your willingness to hold out for someone who is truly worthy of you. This is a pro because you shouldn’t want to date someone unworthy of you, and you won’t. This leads to another point; you know exactly who you are as an individual. Often, people struggle in relationships because they didn’t take the time to figure out what they want and who they are—but you did. Because of this, you’re confident making important life decisions on your own without having to take into account someone else's opinion. You’re not afraid of your family probing and wondering when you will finally get hitched - but wouldn’t it be nice to put a stop to their annoying questioning?
CONS OF BEING PERPETUALLY-SINGLE: Well, for starters, you’re single. This isn’t the sad part—the sad part is being around couples that make you realize that you are alone. Going out with friends means always accepting the position as the awkward third wheel. Eventually you begin to feel hopeless or desolate. When will you find that person? You may start to question your choices and decision to stay single for so long. Is there something wrong with you? Or when your friends seek dating advice, but they veer from accepting yours simply because you don’t actually have any real experience; so how could you really know? You probably give great advice, but none of your friends are going to take advice from someone who has been single more often than not.
Perhaps you are the worst part of being perpetually-single. You are so set in your ways of being alone that you can’t see yourself sharing your life with another, ever. Your resignation is in order because let’s face it, you are far too selfish. Perhaps you are truly convinced that you are better off alone. These people do exist, and they are quite difficult to change; even if they do meet the love of their life. In this case, don’t make a habit of being unlovable. You’re not unlovable, but you’re choosing to walk away from what could be a beautiful thing.
Overall: You’re single, but this doesn't have to be the end all be all from here. Hold dear the positive aspects of being a perpetually single person. Value your undeniable sense of self-identity. The right person will be attracted to exactly what you offer. Don’t lower yourself or your standards, but don’t be so reserved that people can’t even approach you. Hold onto that optimism that the right person for you is out there. Try not to doubt yourself when things seem bleak or when your friends and family get under your skin. Trust that good things will come to those who wait and rest assured that it is more than alright to put yourself out there. Strive for a healthy balance between being single and knowing that this won’t be your reality forever.
Noormega, Rayi. “10 Reasons Why Perpetually Single People Are The Most Difficult To Love.” Thought Catalog, 15 Apr. 2018, thoughtcatalog.com/rayi-noormega/2017/07/why-perpetually-single-people-have-the-hardest-time-finding-love/.
Written by Haleigh Couture
Photo by Sidnei Maia