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Is It Possible to be Single Forever?

Is it possible to be single forever?

Is it possible to be single forever? A big question that is becoming pertinent in our modern-day society. As a culture we are becoming less focused on the concept of hurrying to get married, settling down, and starting a family. But humans are indeed social creatures, so is it possible? And if so, what does that decision look like in terms of navigating the social realm?

While we are in less of a hurry overall, there is still a vast expectation that at some point or another we’ll choose someone and build a life with them. From childhood we see a culture that is obsessed with the concept of romantic love; from fairytales to music and media almost exclusively about falling in or out of love, it seems like the expectation that relationships are the end all be all of life at some point. But what if that path doesn’t seem like all it’s sold to be in our childhood?

Kathryn Ely, Associate Licensed Counselor, and National Certified Counselor at, offered insight into the concept of staying single forever. She stated, “I do think it’s possible to stay single forever. I think to do so, one must be really clear on what’s important to them, and very secure in what they’re doing and how they’re living their life so that they are happy doing it alone.”

Related articles: The Problem With Modern Dating

It takes a certain mindset to be able to stay single, happily. Ely argues, “I think it takes security, I think it takes self-worth, and I think it takes clarity about what you want your life to look like and why you want it to look that way.” She also advised that counseling is a good go-to, to get started on making and fully understanding that decision if that’s the path you want to take. To come to that decision coaching or counseling may help. Emotive’s coaching may help you to decide for sure what you want and follow through with whatever life path you decide is best for yourself.

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Ely mentioned that those not ready to take a step into coaching and counseling could turn to books on the topic as a first step. If you find Ely’s advice resonates with you, it may be helpful to start with her book “Building Mental Wellness: Your Blueprint to Thrive.”

Ely says the book, “sort of takes you on that self-awareness journey. To uncover the layers, peel back what you’ve learned life should be like, and what you’ve learned about who you should be, and discover who you are so that you can own it and go out and live it.” Which seems vital to the process of staying single in a world that tries to persuade us being in a relationship is the only logical long-term life path.

I also spoke with Jessie Perez, temperament expert at and author of “Color By Design: Why You Do What You Do, Think What You Think, and Care about What You Care About.” Her book on temperament is a great place to start understanding yourself better, which is a vital step in such a personal journey as staying single forever.

Perez stressed the importance of still building other types of relationships. “There are different steps of a relationship, and when it comes to a romantic one that’s the very last one, and most relationships never go there. So, if you don’t want any of your relationships to go there, that’s okay, because there are a lot of other steps in between (. . .) that are really engaging and interesting relationships.”

So, the answer to our question about if it’s possible to stay single forever seems to be a resounding yes. The key things to know about staying single forever seem to be doing so with an awareness of the lifestyle you’re choosing. Understand what it is about this option that will empower you and help you to more deeply enjoy your life.

Of course, the same goes for being in any relationship long-term. Whatever you decide is best for you, consider what makes it the best choice for you. It is extremely important to truly reflect on the things we want and making informed choices to achieve said things. By exploring our desires we can even find the choice that truly suits us all the way, not just on a surface level.

Ely, Kathryn. Building Mental Wellness: Your Blueprint to Thrive. BDI Publishers, 14 Jan. 2021.
Ely, Kathryn. Personal Interview, 20 Jul. 2021.
Perez, Jessie. Color by Design: Why You Do What You Do, Think What You Think, and Care about What You Care About. We Speak Color Publishing, 21 Feb. 2018.
Perez, Jessie. Personal Interview, 21 Jul. 2021.

Written by Megan Sheckells

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