8 Simple Rules for Dating Your Ex
Maybe you don’t want to get a rebound partner and you only want your ex back; here is a solid list of eight different ways that you could successfully go about it. This journey can be a rough time after you and your ex have decided to call it off, the longer you’ve spent apart you are going to have to look at the relationship differently and make some new decisions in an effort to keep things in check. Remember that your feelings are just as valid and don’t let anyone tell you differently.
EXAMINE THE SITUATION FROM THE OUTSIDE
Your relationship can look a lot different from other people’s perspectives, from family members to friends to coworkers it is important to take a step back and look at your relationship as sometimes we can be so in love that we aren’t able to see the big picture. If you are looking to see an outside perspective, ask a trusty family member or friend.
Getting a different person’s perspective can give you some ideas on what your relationship is like from the outside. You can take this information and do what you want with it, it would be ideal to build your relationship and improve on areas that might need some help. Ask your partner to try and do the same thing. If necessary, keep your friend or family member’s name anonymous so it won’t cause issues.
AVOID THE SAME MISTAKES
Look at your past with your partner, what went wrong? Avoid having the same arguments as before, learn how to solve the issue and move forward in your relationship. Look at things from a different perspective, to see a different way around the problem. One of the first steps to doing so is finding and identifying your mistake.
TAKE IT SLOW
When starting to date your ex again try not to rush into things, take things slow and try to learn things about your partner you may not have known before. When you are going to get back together don’t force anything and rush into feeling for each other again. Take a month or two and see how you act around each other. Make sure to have a plan, have goals that align with your partner, and make sure that you and your partner are going to be comfortable with the goals you are setting.
BE CAUTIOUS BUT NOT UNTRUSTING
It is important to be cautious about getting back with your ex but it is important to not be untrusting with your ex, with time away from each other you might not know if they’ve been doing things differently.
TRY NEW THINGS
Go out to places you both have never been to before, make new memories, and start new traditions. Trying new things is an important step in my opinion when getting back with your ex. Old habits may cause issues or feelings you may not like, new habits and dates are going to create a new bonding experience for you both.
LET YOUR DATES EVALUATE THE POTENTIAL OF THE RELATIONSHIP
When planning dates and outings both individuals in the relationship need to be responsible for coordinating things. It takes two in a healthy relationship and one person should not have to be in charge of planning everything.
If you are forcing yourself to be with this person and you see yourself setting up things for you both to do, step aside and reevaluate things. How your partner acts in public vs behind doors can tell you if they are toxic or not. Dates are supposed to be fun and build the relationship, don’t let them hide the possible bad in the relationship.
CREATE A NEW DYNAMIC
Dating your ex can be a little awkward in some situations, are you the same as when you decided to break up? If things aren’t just “how they use to be” change how you see the relationship, change the dynamic, do something new. Learn how to positively and effectively communicate with your partner, educate yourself about each other’s wanted needs to make sure both of you are happy.
Change your mindset on your relationship, try and look at it in a positive way. Have the mindset that things are going to be successful. It takes time to alter conditioning but if you identify the specific behaviors you are trying to do more or less of your practice can pay off in occurring automatically.
MAKE SURE THIS IS BOTH WHAT YOU WANT
The most important step in having a healthy relationship with your ex is making sure that you know for sure that this is what the both of you want. If this is going to be a relationship you are kind of in it's not going to work in the long run, things are going to be splotchy. There is not any good reason that you or your partner should be dating their ex if it’s something they don’t want. Don’t waste each other’s time and feel if it’s something you aren’t going to put effort into.
Getting back with your ex can be all you want to do or just the opposite, and it's okay to have feelings and yes, they are just as valid as everyone else’s. Here in this list, I hope there is some information you can take away and use in your life. Healing a relationship takes time and a lot of effort, try to be understanding and make sure that you are honest with your feelings.
Written by Valerie Ortega